The 3 Conditions For Building Trusting Relationships - Character, Capability And Communication

Published on March 5, 2019

Dr. Martina Carroll-Garrison "Dr Tina"Follow

Founder, Dr Tina Talks Work; Executive Coach | The Leadership Challenge® & LPI® FacilitatorBuild Better People Skills Help STEM professionals influence and lead in the 21st Century

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Trust is one of the most complicated aspects of a relationship between two people, and trust within your team can be even more complex because of the number of players involved. In every workplace and organization, the presence of trust underpins effective interpersonal relationships. Your ability to develop effective interpersonal relationships, exercise strong people skills, be seen as an influential agent, and lead and manage high performing teams, hinges on your ability to both trust others and to be trusted by others.

While trust can be abundantly present in your worklife it is tested every day. Although trust can be eviscerated by the big things, such as lying or stealing, more often than not trust is most often eroded by subtle, minor, and unintentional acts and behaviors. So - when I am working with executive coaching clients around the area of building, rebuilding and sustaining trusting relationships, I often have to reinforce the repetitive nature of trust building. Very often a critical realization emerges around the understanding that a team cannot fulfill its potential as a high performing workgroup if trust is not present. Only then do coaching clients become committed to the painstaking and repetitive work that is required to build, rebuild and sustain trust among their team. I often share Reina and Reina's discussion about the "Three C's of Trust," which is a model that coaching clients find useful as they work through their limiting beliefs about trust building and developing new trust competencies.  

The Three Cs for Building Trust

Trust Of Character: Trust of character suggests a common understanding between people, wherein they can be expected to keep their promises and say what they will do and do what they say they will do. Trust of character is cumulative and earned over time, such as when you keep your word, honor intentions, and meet agreed/implied expectations. Trust of character is a foundational element within your interpersonal relationships and effective people skills. This cumulative state is enabled over time when you engage in five specific behaviors: being consistent, delegating appropriately, encouraging mutually beneficial intentions, establishing and maintaining boundaries, maintaining commitments and agreements; and managing expectations.

Trust Of Communication: Trust of communication enables you and your team/colleagues/stakeholders to achieve clarity and certainty about where you stand with each other regarding shared work and professional commitments. Trust facilitates openness and transparency and a risk-free environment where you can give and receive the information you need to perform the job. Trust also enables critique and feedback so that you learn from each other towards improving outcomes. Trust of communication results in effective interpersonal relationships imbued with shared purpose. This cumulative state is enabled over time when you engage in six specific behaviors: being able to give and take constructive critique, owning your mistakes, preserving confidentiality, sharing knowledge and information, speaking truthfully, and speaking with good intention.

Trust Of Capability: Trust of capability is the trust others have invested in you as a result of their confidence in your competence to meet the requirements they have established. Trust of capability is substantially more than a transactional state based upon task-specific skills, as you also require a positive/can-do attitude, demonstrate an interest in the work need and outcome, and confidence and openness which enables you to work well with others. Trust in capability is strategic in perspective as it also extends beyond your current capabilities, and presumes your ability to grow, learn, and develop in the process of each new assignment. This cumulative state is enabled over time when you engage in four specific behaviors: acknowledging others’ skills and abilities; enabling others to make decisions; including others and inviting their input; and helping others learn new skills.

Life Hack Towards Building Trusting Relationships

While trust can be present in your worklife it is tested every day, so when I am working with executive coaching clients around the area of building, rebuilding and sustaining trusting relationships, I often ask them to recognize and embrace the repetitive nature of trust building. Specifically, I ask them to commit to practicing some of 15 behaviors throughout their workday and workweek – and to journal about their action and others’ response as a means to reinforce their learning and skill building. Try this for yourself and select 3-5 behaviors and practice them daily for one week.

1. Being Consistent

2. Delegating Appropriately

3. Encouraging Mutually Beneficial Intentions

4. Establishing And Maintaining Boundaries

5. Maintaining Commitments And Agreements

6. Managing Expectations

7. Being Able To Give And Take Constructive Critique

8. Owning Your Mistakes

9.  Preserving Confidentiality

10.  Sharing Knowledge And Information

11.  Speaking Truthfully, And Speaking With Good Intention 

12.  Acknowledging Others Skills And Abilities

13.  Enabling Others To Make Decisions

14.  Including Others And Inviting Their Input 

15. Helping Others Learn New Skills.

Bottom Line

Trust is one of the most complicated aspects of relationship between two people, and trust within your team can be even more complex because of the number of players involved. The concept of trust underpins all effective interpersonal relationships, thus your ability to develop effective interpersonal relationships and to lead high performance teams hinges on your ability to both trust others and to be trusted by others. The building, rebuilding and sustaining of trusting relationships requires repetitive effort. Committing to practicing several trust-building behaviors daily is one way of creating better relationships within your worklife.

P.S. Our Master List Of Soft Skills Workshop Topics

What our society seems to be gaining in terms of both knowledge and technological advancement, we are losing out on basic soft skills that directly impact the bottom line of your business. I invite you to view our Master List Of Soft Skills Workshop Topics, which are suitable for various learner groups, including junior, senior, supervisors, and workforce development trainers. The aim of the Soft Skill Series Of Workshops is to introduce the skills needed to effectively address current work life and workplace issues. If you are interested in us bringing these topics to your organization you can reach us at INFO@DrTinaTalksWork.com

Published By

Dr. Martina Carroll-Garrison "Dr Tina"

Founder, Dr Tina Talks Work; Executive Coach | The Leadership Challenge® & LPI® FacilitatorBuild Better People Skills Help STEM professionals influence and lead in the 21st Century

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Horst Simon Risk Culture Builder

Transformational Nonconformist-It is time to Think Differently about Risk; Transformative change requires Disruption!!

When trust becomes a liability https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/when-trust-becomes-liability-horst-simon-risk-culture-builder

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